What does the #CasaDeSohn Kitchen have to do with marriage and why does My Kitchen Rule? 20 years of marriage + 5 earlier years of dating, breaking up, getting back together (repeat, repeat, repeat) and then finally deciding we were meant for one another… and now the Kitchen and the role it plays in our life.
I thought about writing this article after I received the following text from my husband. As I read this text I laughed, realising that we have discovered one of the secrets to a great marriage. These secrets were shared by my parents who enjoyed 50 years of marriage 5 children which included the death of one child and a special needs child plus a myriad of other incredible pieces that made their journey ever so real. These invaluable tips for married life and life with children I’d now like to share with you:
1) Find something to laugh about together every day
2) When you start having kids, be prepared to be tired for 10 years
3) Discover, engage and enjoy the hobbies and passions of your partner
#1 is solid advice! Laughter has indeed helped us get through some of the toughest times. I recently heard someone speak about laughter and how sometimes it’s the only tool we have that helps us survive. At 45 years old I understand this now and I use laughter quite regularly. Perhaps some would suggest to my detriment but to those comments I choose to shrug them off realising that whoever made them, obviously hasn’t quite grasped the true power of laughter. Sometimes that deep belly laugh can be as healing as a good cry, a listening ear or even a bar of chocolate.
#2 is absolutely true. Our youngest turns 10 this week and I recall the moment I finally felt rested – it only came a few years ago. At the time my eldest was 12 and my youngest 6. So, in our case, perhaps because the controlled crying method almost sent Philip and I to rehab, the baby-wise solution escaped us and a strict schedule seemed to only work on baby #2 (our son, Gabriel). This means we were blessed with an extra 2 years of tiredness as we ploughed through the early years of parenting. These days, I love waking and feeling rested. It’s so exhilarating. So, for those who are still in that 10-12 year window I encourage you to hold on, relief and rest are on their way. In the meantime, enjoy coffee, endless cups of tea, dry shampoo (it takes away the shine of the unwashed hair when time doesn’t allow) and whatever sleep you can get – TAKE IT!
#3 and this why our Kitchen Rules. Philip and I have found our rhythm in the kitchen. We have found that our passion for cooking is one that we share and in this space we have discovered something that keeps us strong, connected and in love. It sounds silly that we can discover and fall in love over and over again whilst creating and cooking. Who knew the power of a lamb shoulder or a vindaloo. Who knew that the fragrant aromas that ignite a kitchen could re-ignite a love that lasts. Who knew that in the tough times we still danced. Who knew that through the gentle preparation of meals for invited guests we could solve some of our deepest issues and challenges. Who knew that we would build a strong family around our table and our kitchen island. Who knew that in the beautiful homes we’ve lived in, the most comfortable, welcoming and healing space would be our kitchen. Who knew that this is where we would find a love that lasts?
It’s with piece of advice #3 that we find our strength, that we build, we share, we create and we love. Through discovering the passion of my partner, who is my husband, a life has been built that has beat the obstacles and the giants that have tried to stand in our way. Through the kitchen we have mended hearts and forgiven much. Through exploring and diving into what we love, we have found love.
Friends, this is why ‘My Kitchen Rules‘ (and yes, we love the TV show too) and this is why we cook, we create, we invite, we share and we teach. It’s because we understand the power of advice #3. We saw a great love story in front of us (my parents) and we chose to listen when wisdom spoke to us, through my parents, and we discovered the secret to a full life and yes, full tummies.
In your relationships, whatever they look like, whether it be with a partner, a child, a friend, a parent, a sibling or a colleague (and the list goes on), find something that they like and that invigorates them. Step into that space with authenticity and you will see positive change happen.